Intuitive Eating Doesn't Mean You Eat Everything In Sight

 INTUITIVE EATING DOESN’T MEAN YOU EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT

One of the biggest concerns my coaching clients have about intuitive eating is that it’s a pass to eat as much as they want.

They feel that if they follow the principles of intuitive eating…instead of the rules of a diet…they are giving themselves permission to overeat.

In reality, the opposite is true.

Let me explain by using an example from my own life that just happened.

I was hungry so I decided to go to the store and get some wings and fries. In this particular store, you can choose exactly how many wings you want and exactly how many potato wedges you want.

So, based on the principle of intuitive eating, I took some time to check in with myself and see where my hunger level was. I thought about how much food I believed I actually needed to satisfy my hunger.

Before intuitive eating, I would have just said “Give me the 10 piece wings and the fries”, and then I would have eaten most if not all of it and felt overly full.

How many of you have found yourself eating all the food just because it’s there?

With intuitive eating, I asked myself what my body needed to feel full, and I decided on 5 wings and 5 potato wedges.

However, as the server was filling my order, I looked at the quantity of food and realized that I really only needed four of each.

So I walked out of the store with 4 wings and 4 potato wedges.

And…it was fine. In fact, now that I think about it and where I am in terms of my fullness level, I probably would have been just fine with three and three.

That’s the beauty of intuitive eating.

You listen to your body. You eat according to what your body needs, not according to what someone else thinks you need. You gather data and adjust accordingly. You trust yourself and believe that you (and not a mass produced diet) know what’s best for you.

The big fear with intuitive eating is that it will cause you to overeat. In my experience, the opposite is true.

I’m actually eating less than I did before.

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You Can Always Buy Bigger Underwear

 YOU CAN ALWAYS BUY BIGGER UNDERWEAR

I was talking to one of my friends today, and she said her fitness goal was to “stop her stomach from attacking her panties”.👙 😀

This made me laugh, and I responded back to her and said, “Or, we can buy bigger panties”. 

I get it. No one likes having to buy bigger clothes. Especially when you still have a closet full of your old smaller clothes. 

When you look at your old clothes, it’s natural to fantasize about getting back in them, so you tell yourself that you’re only one diet away from fitting back into your favorite pants.

I have a closet full of those clothes too, and I completely agree...it’s been really hard to let them go.

For the last few years, I’ve also been on the hunt to find the “magical diet”. You know, the one that will allow me to lose weight while still being able to eat foods I love and never go hungry in the process. After 7 years of searching, I can tell you I still haven’t found it.

What I’ve found are a lot of diets that are restrictive that cause me to eventually break down after a few days and scarf down an entire pint of ice cream as my body screams, “please feed me!”

In fact, I distinctly remember being on one diet where the entire week all I could eat was a protein and 5 asparagus stalks per meal. 

Of course you’re going to lose weight on a diet like this. But what are you having to give up to achieve that goal? And -even if you do lose weight- how long are you really going to be able to sustain that weight loss? You can only eat protein and asparagus for so long. 

The good news is, THERE IS A BETTER WAY.

Instead of denying ourselves the food we really want...instead of beating ourselves up when we look at our bodies in photos...and instead of hiding our bodies in dark clothing...WE CAN CHOOSE TO LOVE AND EMBRACE OURSELVES EXACTLY AS WE ARE NOW.  

That doesn’t mean you won’t ever lose any weight. In fact, when you stop the cycle of yo-yo dieting, you’ll be able to get back in touch with your body’s natural internal hunger cues. 

When you think about it, why do we let a diet guru tell us we can’t eat when we’re hungry and we can’t eat food we actually want to eat? I like chicken and asparagus, but I don’t want to eat it for every meal for an entire week.

Instead of making myself miserable so I can fit into my old clothes, I’ve decided to just buy bigger clothes. And you can too.

Buying bigger clothes isn’t giving up. Buying bigger clothes isn’t admitting defeat.

Buying clothes (and underwear) that fits is one way we can show love to ourselves and our bodies. 

Buying clothes that fit is one way we can take back our lives from the billion dollar diet industry that tells us it’s better to go hungry than buy a bigger pair of panties. 

If this post resonates with you, please join me starting July 26 for an 8 week coaching challenge where I’ll be teaching you how to increase your self-love, body acceptance, and knowledge of intuitive eating. 

Reply below if you’d like more info, or send me a DM.

Also, if you know a woman who would be interested in this 8-week coaching experience, please share this post with them. 

I want to be part of a movement that says it’s ok to buy underwear that fits our bodies AS THEY ARE NOW instead of having to change our bodies to fit our underwear. And I can’t wait to bring you with me.

P.S. - If you're a woman who wants to learn more about self-love and body acceptance, sign up for my newsletter. It's filled with so much good info. I can't wait to share it with you! Sign up here  

Not Every Woman Has the Same Body...And That's Okay

NOT EVERY WOMAN HAS THE SAME BODY...AND THAT’S OKAY ❤️

The other day, my husband dropped some serious knowledge about my body that totally changed my perspective on things. But more on that later. First let me tell you what happened. 

I just bought a gorgeous red dress. I bought it after seeing one of my friends post pictures of herself wearing it on Facebook. She looked so beautiful in it. 

I ordered it online and was so excited for it to be delivered. I’d already imagined myself in it and I couldn’t wait to wear it on a date with my husband. 

The dress arrived, and to my disappointment, it was too big. So I ordered it again in the next smallest size.

While I waited for the dress to arrive, I again imagined myself in it. In fact, while I was waiting for it to arrive, another one of my FB friends posted pictures of herself in this dress too. She also looked gorgeous in it. I couldn’t wait for mine to arrive.

So the dress got here and I tried it on...and...it was too small. It fit everywhere except for across the top where it was just a little bit too tight. 

So the first dress was too big, and the next size was too small. 

I was devastated!

Now back to my husband…

I was telling him about how upset I was that the dress didn’t fit my body like it fit my friends’ bodies. I even pulled up my friends’ pictures on Facebook to show him to further drive home my point. I told him, “See! Look at how good they look in this dress. They look so beautiful. Why can’t the dress look that good on me?”

As I was feeling sorry for myself, my husband looked at me and said, “Trina, they have a different body type than you. Not every dress looks the same on every body type. There’s nothing wrong with that. Just go buy a dress that’s made for your body type.”

He said it just like that. No drama. No judgement. He just spoke facts. 

And he totally made me feel better.❤️ 

The thing is, he’s so right. We don’t all have the same body type, and that’s ok. Every dress doesn’t look the same on all of us, and that’s ok too.

Why do we beat ourselves up when something fits a model or our friends differently than it fits us? 

It’s because that’s what we’ve been conditioned by society and the media to do. Before my husband corrected my thinking, I was being drawn into that internal spiral of feeling like my body wasn’t good enough.

But thankfully, my husband snapped me out of it and brought me back to reality. 

The truth is, MY BODY DOESN’T NEED TO CHANGE TO FIT INTO CLOTHES I LIKE. Instead, I CAN CHOOSE TO SPEND MONEY ON CLOTHES THAT FIT MY BODY...EXACTLY AS IT IS NOW. 

It’s that simple. I still think the red dress I bought is a gorgeous dress. And one day, my body may change such that it fits me beautifully. But today isn’t that day and that’s ok.

So I’m returning both dresses, and I’m buying another dress that fits and flatters my body...exactly as my body is right now. 

Thanks, husband, for the reality check!

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Clothes Shopping: What are you making it mean?

 👖CLOTHES SHOPPING: WHAT ARE YOU MAKING IT MEAN? 👖

Yesterday I went shopping for some new clothes. I’d checked out the store online before going, and found several things I thought were cute.

I was excited to go because now that I’ve been shopping more regularly, I’m loving how I feel in my new clothes.

After all, my renewed interest in shopping is a fairly new thing.

Before, I was stuck in the trap of waiting until I lost a few pounds before I felt like I could go shopping. 

Before, I had a closet full of clothes that I was still hoping to fit back into, if only I could stick to my diet longer than 2 weeks.

Things changed for me a couple of months ago when despite not wanting to, I went shopping anyway.

I’m not going to lie. My first shopping experience was traumatic. But I kept going, and ever since then, I’ve bought so many cute clothes.

I wear my new clothes almost every day now, and I feel so beautiful in them.

So yesterday, I set out to buy some more. I got to the store and chose 2 dresses I loved based on the pictures I saw online.

I went into the dressing room [and deliberately practiced the skill of looking at my body in the dressing room mirror WITHOUT being critical...that’s still a hard one for me].

I tried on the 2 dresses, and although they both fit, neither was very flattering on me. 

I simply couldn’t imagine myself wearing either of these dresses and feeling beautiful. 

So I put the dresses back and left the store. 

HERE’S THE PART THAT’S STILL BLOWING MY MIND…

Even though the clothes didn’t look good on me...I didn’t get upset. I didn’t beat myself up. I didn’t tell myself I needed to lose weight. I didn’t tell myself to eat fewer calories or exercise more. 

It’s all about what you CHOOSE to make it mean.

For me, I chose to make it mean that yes, those were nice dresses and they looked good on the models online, but they fit my body differently.

Notice, I DIDN’T make it mean that I’m fat or ugly. I simply made it mean that we all have different bodies, and the same outfit doesn’t look the same on all of our bodies. And that’s ok.

I struck out yesterday while shopping, but I’m not devastated by the experience. I’ll simply try again another time. 

There’s a million dresses out there, and I know without a doubt that there are some that look great on me. They just weren’t in that particular store yesterday.

THAT’S WHAT I MADE IT MEAN. THAT’S IT...AND THAT’S ALL. 

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Joyful Movement: what it is & how it differs from traditional exercise

 HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF JOYFUL MOVEMENT?

I admit, the first time I heard that terminology I rolled my eyes. I felt like it was a term they were using to try to trick me into exercising.

If I’m being honest, throughout most of my relationship with exercise over the years, I haven’t particularly enjoyed it.

I always thought of exercise as something I had to do to burn off the calories from what I just ate. Or something I had to do preemptively in advance of going out to eat.

Even when I tried to focus on the health benefits of exercise, it still felt like another rule of something I had to do to be good.

If you feel the same way about exercise, I get it. I completely understand where you’re coming from.

Then, I heard about joyful movement.

Joyful movement is a way to approach exercise where you focus on pleasure. If something isn’t pleasurable, you don’t focus on that.

Thinking about exercise as a way to atone for the calories you have just eaten is not pleasurable.

Thinking about exercise as a way to give yourself permission to eat later today is also not pleasurable.

Thinking about exercise as something you have to do just to check a box isn’t pleasurable either.

Now I get it, we can’t only do things in life that are pleasurable.

But if there’s a way to make something more fun, why not?

That’s what thinking about exercise more as “joyful movement” has done for me.

Let me give you an example. This morning I woke up and I was debating whether I wanted to stay in bed or get up and go for a walk.

As I was trying to make my decision, my thoughts had nothing to do with my weight or the calories I would burn by walking.

I simply thought about the pleasure walking would bring me.

I thought about how I love to smell the fresh air in the morning. I love hearing the birds and seeing rabbits in my neighbors’ yards.

I thought about how I love having that time to myself without any other distractions. I thought about the music I love to listen to when I’m walking or the podcasts I love to catch up on.

All of those things bring me joy. So when I focused on the joy that walking brings me, it became a no brainer.

I got out of bed, got dressed, and went for a walk.

Now, I’ve had people tell me that walking is a waste of my time and that instead I need to do something that burns more calories like orange theory.

Here’s the thing, though. I used to do orange theory and I think it’s an amazing program. I totally get why people love it. But it brought me absolutely no joy. It did bring me a couple of injuries, but it did not bring me joy.

That’s what joyful movement is about. Rejecting other peoples’ ideas of the type of exercise you “should” be doing, and listening to yourself and figuring out what type of exercise brings you joy.

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Me from 2013 vs. 2021

 2013 vs 2021

The picture on the left is a pic of me from 2013 three days before I went on my first date with my husband.

The picture on the right is a pic of me from a few days ago.

Obviously, there’s a difference between how I look in the two pictures.

First, there’s the obvious difference, and the one that we focus on first. The weight.

How many times do we see someone we know who has gained weight and think, “They’ve really let themselves go”.

You may even be thinking that about me now.

And the truth is, I have let myself go.

In 2013…

I’d barely eaten fruit in 3 years because I was worried about how many grams of sugar it contained.

I weighed myself every morning, and decided if I was successful or not based on what the scale said.

I was hungry all the time, because I barely ate more than 1000 calories a day.

I obsessed about food constantly, because when you place almost every food on the forbidden list, food becomes all you can think about.

I exercised a lot, even when I didn’t want to.

And I truly believed my ability to find and be loved by a man was based on my dress size.

So yes, if you think I’ve let myself go, you’re absolutely right.

In 2021…

I eat fruit almost every day, because I LOVE FRUIT!

I rarely weigh myself anymore, because I don’t need the stress.

I eat when I’m hungry (and stop when I’m full).

I no longer use control (or lack thereof) over food as my main way of dealing with life and my emotions.

I no longer think about food all day, and my brain is free to think about things I really love.

I eat out with my family, AND I eat the same food they eat…not just salads with no dressing.

I only exercise when I want to, and I don’t think of it as a way to burn off the calories from what I ate.

I know I’m worthy of being loved and accepted, just because I exist.

I’ve had to let go of a lot of things. And in the process, I’ve gained so much more.

If this post resonates with you, I want you to know that this is possible for you, too.

I can help you.

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Why Do We Keep Clothes That Don't Fit Anymore?

 WHY DO WE HANG ON TO CLOTHES THAT ARE TOO SMALL FOR US?

I have a pair of Christian Louboutin heels.

I bought them years ago as one of my first purchases after getting a real job.

So as you can imagine, I have a lot of sentimentality attached to them.

But here’s the thing, they’ve always hurt my feet.

In fact, when I told the salesperson that they hurt my feet, he informed me that “Christian Louboutin shoes are not supposed to be comfortable…they’re supposed to be fabulous”.

So there I was unsuccessfully attempting to wear heels that hurt.

Well, after having kids my feet grew and they don’t fit anymore at all.

They’ve been sitting in a box in the back of my closet for years.

CLOTHES THAT NO LONGER FIT SERVE NO PURPOSE.

In reality, they bring no joy. Yes, they used to bring me joy, but they don’t anymore.

What am I truly getting out of a pair of shoes that is sitting in a box in a closet?

But the crazy thing is it has been so hard for me to sell them or give them away because there’s so much meaning that I’ve attached to them.

I bought them during a time in my life when I was in a smaller body, so when I think about those shoes, I can’t help but think about my old body.

I have pictures of myself in my old body wearing those shoes, and they are not memories that are easy to let go of.

However, no matter how much I fight it, the reality is…those shoes are never going to fit my feet again.

I’ve been holding onto them for years thinking if I could just find the perfect magical diet, I’d lose a ton of weight and be able to wear my Louboutin’s again.

I’m sure you can imagine how that has gone.

The truth is, I don’t need to lose weight to be able to wear Christian Louboutin shoes if I want. I could just go buy bigger shoes…right now.

But I’m not going to because they hurt my feet and I’m too old to wear shoes that hurt.

I also no longer want to keep clothes in my closet that don’t fit.

I no longer want to keep sacrificing my soul and happiness for diets and diet culture.

So I’ve given the shoes to my sister.

I hope she loves them. They have a special place in my heart, and I know they will serve her so much more than they have been serving me sitting in a dust bag in my closet.

At least they will finally be getting some use.

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